so I blacked out Friday night…

ok so it has been YEARS since I’ve blacked out. the picture above is from freshman year of college when one of my best friends and I went up to Boston for the Red Sox World Championship parade in 2004.

family members please stop reading now. thank you.

in total, I think it only happened a couple of times in college. not because I don’t like to drink – but I have what experts call “a high tolerance for booze”.

here is the story from Friday.

as advertised, my 5 o’clock on Friday’s are probably better than yours. please note: It’s Friday…

this one was no exception. I walk across the street to the bar where we are having our weekly drinkfest. I was there until about 8:30pm. in 2 hours I consumed 4 mixed drinks (2 double crown and ginger’s – thanks Tim), 4 shots of tequila, and a beer (or 2).

by 9pm I had already consumed what most people would in a night. I FEEL GREAT. I jump on the train back to my hood to meet up with Rex Ryan’s daughter again – her and I head to the east side to meet up my roommate and some other people. I was still good at this point – no problems in sight.

meet my friends at a house, have another beer and then depart for the bar. destination: Brother Jimmy’s – famous for their fish bowls. they are actual fish bowls filled with god knows what with like 6 or 7 straws in it and a rubber alligator. between 10 people I think we drank 9 fish bowls or so. pretty fucking solid. I woke up with 2 alligators but we can get to that in a second.

flash forward to 9:30am – here’s a quick recap.

I sit up and I don’t know where I am.

pants are on. I’m fully dressed and confused as shit.

I look around…I’m in Rex Ryan’s daughters bed.

how did I get here? this girl lives on the 3rd floor. oh my god what did I do. did she have to carry me up the stairs? she’s like 7 inches shorter and I weigh like a million pounds to her. OH MY GOD I hope I didn’t puke. or worse shit my pants.

I look at my left middle finger….its covered in dried blood. there is also blood on my pants and shirt. not a lot…but enough for me to be like…where did this shit come from. (answer: my finger).

she wakes up.

the conversation brought up interesting tidbits of information:

• I didn’t puke or shit on anything (thank god)
• not only did I walk myself up the stairs to her apartment – but she never got the impression that I was blacked-out. I didn’t slur words, stumble or anything. (her words) (it’s a gift – my words)
• she told me I was “like a tank” the night before while we were drinking.
• I asked why the pillow was wet….it was because I spilled a glass or water on it. duh
• apparently we took a cab back from the bar and she had to pay because I couldn’t figure out the credit card thing.
• I told her I was really good with animals. I believe I said I was “like Dr. Dolittle” or something.
• I barked at dogs while we were walking – but then also barked at people who didn’t have dogs. yikes.
• the two alligators – she said I was adamant about taking them home. therefore they also woke up in her apartment with me.

we are still talking so I couldn’t have been THAT bad. whatever, that’s my story.

I have always been told that I don’t show signs of being really really drunk. usually when I proclaim how drunk I was the night before the girl usually says “you didn’t seem that drunk at all”

are girls taking advantage of me when I’m drunk? if so please call….you know what – never mind.

let it keep happening.

stay hot.

ITS NOT REALLY REX RYAN’S DAUGHTER. she’s just a jets fan and her last name is Ryan so I give her a hard time.