lana del rey – the latest indie princess you’ll hate in 6 months

So as part of maintaining sanity in Cublicle Monkeyville, one of my more enjoyable moments is getting e-mails from friends or surfing XM for some new music to get into. XMU is usually on the cutting edge, dishing me plenty of hipster jams straight outta’ Brooklyn and Silverlake.

Lately, it seems like the ‘trendsetters’ can’t stop talking about this chick Lana Del Rey. Basically, all I know about it her is that she uses a fake name, looks like she teleported here from the 1950s, has the backing of a ton of record industry executives, and has this whiny song called “Video Games” where she laments the fact her douchey boyfriend likes to play video games instead of commiserate with her — or something like that.

But regardless of what you think of her, one thing that’s guaranteed is that in six months or less (probably less) she’ll be the new face of indie and will appeal to all the brokenhearted, semi-hipster chicks who can’t understand why the boys play Call of Duty and masturbate all day instead of putting up with their nonsense. The wheels have already been set in motion, and this train ain’t stopping — even if three weeks ago nobody knew who Lana Del Rey was or where she came from.

Welcome to the new World of “The Next Best Thing.”

This excerpt from the G-Chat Registry sums it up well, and exhibits our cringing jadedness:

cho_kettie: oh no video games just came on xmu
AHHH!!!
i’m falling into seriously depressed suicide mode

yayson: ahhaha

cho_kettie: seriously this song is so depressing

yayson: i was going to go the state house, then when i got down to the lobby, it started raining, so i turned around

cho_kettie: clearly you need to put on video games and cry
then have the camera fade out to a rainy backdrop
fin.

yayson: haha
fin.

cho_kettie: guaranteed that’s how some hip new tv show ends in the next tv season
like i’ will put my life savings on it
fade out to lana del reyyyy annnnnnndddddd THATS A WRAP

yayson: not even a show, prob a commercial

cho_kettie: probably how i met your mother in one of their super emo moments

yayson: w that song in the background
haha, ugh
no

cho_kettie: god we’re so jaded

yayson: im just envisioning a commercial, im not sure what itd be fore
perfume?
something cosmetic, would just feed the irony

cho_kettie: i think it’s far too depressing for a commercial
they like to use shit like feist and her bubbly pop crap

yayson: this is true

cho_kettie: i bet modern warfare 3 uses it for one of their sound effect-less gameplay over haunting music ads
“playyyyy your video games” (explosions)