And so baseball is off to another year and the predictions made earlier in the season mean about as much now as they did then. Some better, some worse for the wear. Actually they’re all dogshit. Oh well. As we say while in denial all season: lots of time left. My baseball futures will come around and pay off my college debt.  Luckily I also hedged that bet with a 401(k) which is doing only slightly worse than if I had just put all my money into Classmates.com stock.

So as I watch baseball and try to figure out my next move I noticed something about a team that has won me a lot of money over the years.  The Dodgers started off as the hottest team in baseball but slowed back down to a Twins pace more recently. Many so-called analysts pointed to the lack of Matt Kemp in the batting order but these are also the same people that thought the shitclock in Miami’s outfield was cool.  The real reason that club has slowed down is not because Matt Kemp is not in the batting order, but because he’s not doing on-field interviews anymore.

What an orator.   Other teams were simply distracted, confusing him with a character from a hit Fox Cartoon:

So that’s my theory.  Matt Kemp increases entropy.  Bet with care.