I won’t pretend to know anything about tennis, because you know, I’ve never played it. And I’m a girl. My tennis cred is zero. It’s even lower than Anna Kournikova’s during her Enrique Iglesias music video days. However, I still watch enough of it to be really excited that Nadal just lost a 5-set third round match to an unseeded Lukas Rosol (fun fact: his last name means “chicken soup” in several Slavic languages). I don’t have a whole lot against Nadal, or a whole lot that even makes him memorable. He doesn’t give press conferences in nine languages and have Anna Wintour as his on-call personal stylist. He doesn’t have parents who are so endearingly Serbian that they still wear iron-transfer t-shirts with their son’s picture on them to cheer him on at grand slams. He has a weird uncle that maybe gives me the creeps a little, but overall, Nadal seems like a nice enough guy. So why am I, in my very humble opinion, so pumped that he is out of the tournament?
Rafa Nadal is a pretty unlikeable guy, but sometimes you really want him to win just to avoid the ass-pounding his “coach” Uncle Toni is going to give him that night if he loses.
Ever wonder why Nadal pulls so many wedgies out of his ass every match? You’d think a guy with that kind of money would be able to buy clothing that fits. But Nadal grew up getting pounded by Uncle Toni, and it’s his way of reminding himself that if he loses this point, he’s going to get a visit by the Spanish Dickquisition and that wedgie will be replaced with something a lot harder to pull out. If Nadal has the record for most RPMs (rotations per minute) in tennis, Uncle toni holds the record for RPMs (rapes per minute) on Nadal after a loss, which is probably why he looks like this in the press booth:
Tough one today, Rafa. Hope you can walk again by Wimbledon.