I was at the beach last weekend throwing the football in the ocean with some friends, when these two kids, probably around 8 or 9, were skim boarding near me and calling out for me to throw the ball to them while they were in motion on their skimboard. I thought, “that’s a dope idea,” and started throwing the ball to them. shit was awesome.

not even 30 seconds went by before their fucking dad came hustling up from wherever the hell he was and shouted WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???? Then corralled his kids and monkeyed them elsewhere, all the while steaming at me like I’m Sandusky’s protege.

DUDE, I’M NOT GOING TO RAPE YOUR KIDS. GET OVER IT.

This whole thing is getting out of control. I don’t really give a shit about people calling for the burning of penn state since I’ve maintained that that school sucked ass since high school (you could basically just sign up at my hs, and most kids did because they’re lazy fucks who didn’t want to fill out more than one college application) but jesus, this is an isolated incident by a man who, 9999 times out of 10000, would be caught before any pervasive damage was done. Is this going to have a Columbine-like fallout where we’re going to have to be vetted and frisked every time we enter the near proximity of a kid? Ugh. The endless overreactions of America never gets less annoying.

Here should be the rule of thumb from now on if you’re an adult hanging with your kids and you see somebody:

Simple as that.