Dr. Rockso from Metalocalypse on Adult Swim.
just sayin. stay hot.
Nikki Minaj at the vmas looks like…
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shit I just discovered…
Tuesday Morning Gyration – ACE POWER
So, there aren’t too many words for this video. Here is what I can tell you: it cost like 26,000 yen? or whatever symbol that is? If someone can translate this video I’ll buy them one of these Ace Power crotch machines.
The Koreans must be really bad at fucking. But I guess they are trying to disguise this as a horse riding machine? Good cover guys. I wish this combined a means of transportation and a workout. Can you picture me gyrating down the streets of New York City on this thing?
“Don’t mind me! Just goin to get a coffee!”
STAY GYRATIN’
shout out to Tim the link master for the link.
‘Toe-besity’: reason 6,874,654 errbody hates America
For some people, there is nothing more disgusting than feet. They can’t touch them, be touched by them, see them, smell them, think about them, know they exist. Fucking pansies.
Others play honey badger and don’t give a shit – rubbing their stank-ass feet all over the place. Like when you crash at a buddie’s house with other bros and there just happens to be feet everywhere. Nasty.
Since you’re a bro, they probably look like this:
Either you like them or you don’t – point is they’re there and my elaborate knowledge of the human body says they’re not going anywhere. Cause you need them to walk and shit.
However, since there are always 3 sides to every argument; there are some seriously screwed up individuals who let their Miss Piggy feet fuck up that whole ‘perfect American image’ we have. Read More
self-marriage is apparently a thing
Ed. note – Here’s the latest guest post from our female TMF correspondent, who we’ll now identify as Jules since this is her third article and deserves some damn recognition. Maybe, just maybe, she’ll have her own login for the fourth…
So, self-marriage is a
pparently a thing. Not a big trend I pray, at least not yet, but it’s a thing:
“On her 30th birthday in 2003, [Dutch woman] Jennifer Hoes had a self-wedding, complete with cameras…. Several people since then have taken the vows of self-marriage as a way of contractually binding themselves to matrimonial values.”
Obviously this isn’t a legal ceremony (Santorum sit down), but its proponents tout it as some sort of celebration of singleness and independence.
I have to hand it to Jennifer; she’s pretty ingenious. She really made the wedding all about her and took the groom out of the picture altogether. After all, isn’t a self-marriage just like marrying someone else, only you’re marrying yourself? Oh wait, no it’s not.
This makes every other delusional, narcissistic bride look reasonable in comparison. As a girl, and therefore someone who has been pressured to plan my “dream wedding” by relatives and commercials on the Oxygen Network alike for as long as I can remember, I can almost empathize with these women. I can almost relate. Then I remember that I’m not a loser and these women are crazy bitches and I move on.
I have another suggestion for these chicks, and that’s suicide. Because it’s just like killing someone else, you see, only you’re killing yourself. Then the rest of us can go on and enjoy other weddings that have the one thing that all weddings are supposed to have: an open bar.
apparently TIME caught up with lil’ kim
Just went to get myself some delicious water. Problem is I almost spit it out when I saw this while walking back to my desk.
Is this the best TIME cover ever? Coincidence that Lil’ Kim actually had an album called No Time ?
All hail the Bambi Leader.
Better usage of Lil’ Kim name: Kim Jong Un
Better ass: washed up rapper Lil’ Kim
Better style: washed up rapper Lil’ Kim Kim Jong Un
Better hair: Kim Jong Un
Best flow: Kim Jong Un on that dictatorship flow
Better chance to be in a movie first: Kim Jong Un
ohhhh herrrro
Stay HOT.
red bull…GET AT ME
I am dead serious. I WANT TO DO THIS.
I need to know everything about this … so if someone can Google it and send it to me, I will read it.
I can’t do it alone so I’ll need a partner. Applications sent to toomuchfire@gmail.com will be read in an orderly fashion. Also include any info about RedBull Sparkstøtting Supercross that you may have. That’s what this apparently is, so hook it up and you can be my partner.
These are just like sticks, with grips for your feet? On a chair … in the snow. What is so hard about that? Red Bull should just send me next months winnings because there is no way I lose to any of these guys.
Throw some of that Red Bull money my way and I will ride a fucking rocking chair down the hill. I think if Red Bull said we’re going to sponsor you for ______, I would just do it. They dominate the extreme sports sponsorship market, make the best videos, and do the coolest shit.
How can you NOT want to just get hammered and ride a chair down a hill with your buddy? This action sport was designed for drunk assholes. COUNT. ME. IN. TMF needs to put a team together and come up with a better name then “Weekend Warriors” and “Teletubbies.” Whatever, name comes second.
Action Figure Therapy FOR THE WIN.
Have you seen these? Saw it on a friends Facebook so I had to check it out. A whole YouTube channel devoted to the therapy sessions of these action figures. Fire comedy. I think the Ranger is the best, but they are all good.
RANGERS LEAD THE WAY.