Rafa Nadal is a pretty unlikeable guy, but sometimes you really want him to win just to avoid the ass-pounding his “coach” Uncle Toni is going to give him that night if he loses.
Ever wonder why Nadal pulls so many wedgies out of his ass every match? You’d think a guy with that kind of money would be able to buy clothing that fits. But Nadal grew up getting pounded by Uncle Toni, and it’s his way of reminding himself that if he loses this point, he’s going to get a visit by the Spanish Dickquisition and that wedgie will be replaced with something a lot harder to pull out. If Nadal has the record for most RPMs (rotations per minute) in tennis, Uncle toni holds the record for RPMs (rapes per minute) on Nadal after a loss, which is probably why he looks like this in the press booth:
Tough one today, Rafa. Hope you can walk again by Wimbledon.

