Well, after defeating Japan in the Little League World Series our dominance over them was pretty clear. This one I am surprised about though: America is certainly better at selling sex to youth than Japan is.
This interview on CNN shows Japan’s feeble attempt to sell sex via their “pop music.” Get with the times Japan — you have cell phones the size of matchbooks and vending machines for everything under the Sun but you can’t write a song that isn’t blatantly about sex? Britney Spears did commercials for your country back in the nineties, so surely you are familiar with “Hit me baby one more time.” – clearly either promoting domestic abuse or sexual acts but definitely not just about teenage life. I am really shocked that this is their best attempt — although what do you expect from a country still scared of Godzilla?
Does Japan have Disney? Maybe then can learn from Mickey….
In 2010, surf filmmaker Taylor Steele came up with an idea: Independent filmmakers composing their own vision of the perfect surf clip. Their people, their places, their styles — let viewers vote on who’s best — winner gets $100,000.
Any filmmaker/surfer duo could submit their creation — it was like the Oklahoma land rush but for surfing videos instead of federally confiscated land.
Last year’s winner was the unknown 21-year-old from Maui, Matt Meola. Filmed and directed by Elliot Leboe of ACL Digital Cinema.
Now, as it turns out, Matt Meola was who I voted for last year. Most of it had to do with a Maui bias but nonetheless, it proves I’m in-tune when it comes to surf clips. This year, I’ve developed a 5-part criteria to guide my TMF-sponsored vote.
1. Song: Subjective? Irrelevant? Unfair? Sure — those are all valid assertions. But you need to take a listen before you watch a surf clip for this reason: No matter how rad a clip may be, a bad song can ruin it. A good song, however, makes you want to watch the clip over and over again.
2. Location/Waves: Everyone who watches a surf clip needs to be wowed. You want them to ask, “Where is that!?!”
3. Surfer/Maneuvers: These days, guys do stuff in surf videos that’s just stupid (stupid meaning “How the fuck can he do that?”; in reality, they land those back-flip aerials once every 4 or 5 tries, if that). A good surf clip needs a mixture of rights and lefts, cutbacks, barrel rides, and grommet-style airs to show the spectrum of the surfer’s abilities. You also need a few crashes, busts, wipe-outs, etc. to show the size of the surfer’s balls.
4. Production: This involves camera angles, editing, cut-aways, special effects, and a whole lot of other shit I don’t know about because I’m not a film guy (although I’m TMF’s unofficial Hollywood film critic). The main thing here is the production should be impressive, bu it shouldn’t infringe on the surfing.
5. Skit: If they try to fit a skit in there, it better be damn funny or damn meaningful. It’s usually not worth the risk – hokey surf humor is something of the past.
So who were my favorites?
Harley Ingleby — Longboard, shortboard, wooden board, whatever. Ingleby took a fresh approach, proving he can rip on any board you hand him. Song “Sail” by Awolnation.
Hank Gaskell — Maui bias? Yeah. But his clip also reminds me of my favorite thing: surfing fast waves on sunny days in clear blue water. Song “Don’t Move” by Phantogram.
Peter Devries — A finalist last year, Devries is one of the best again. What’s the difference with Devries? He does 360 airs wearing a 6:4 wetsuit at breaks you’ve never heard of in Canada. Song “Avec Mes Mecs” by Humans.
Directed by Jeremy Koreski.
TMF’S 2011 INNERSCTION VOTE GOES TO PETER DEVRIES OF TOFINO, BRITISH COLUMBIA. PAY THE MAN HIS $100,000.
“Come writers and critics. Who prophesize with your pen.”
Here’s my deal: I bring the fire. I make flames rain down from the motherfuckin’ sky. They call me “Shotgun” because I pop that shit off in your face. (Personally, I refer to it as my blow torch). Meanwhile, your bitch-ass thinks it’s Dooms Day! KA-BOOM!!!
I can’t wait for Dooms Day. I’ll be whiskey drunk in a bar singing “Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.” Settin’ ‘em up and knockin’ ‘em down . . . and laughing my ass off . . . because what the hell? It’s Dooms Day. Not like I’m gonna be hung over the next morning . . .
. . . I’ll tell ya, I’d kill for some fuckin’ culture in this town. I mean, if I went around asking, “You ever heard of Simon and Garfunkel?” Jesus, how long would that take?
Fuck me? You said fuck me? Oh, okay . . . WELL FUCK YOU!
These kids — I run into some who were born post-1990. And they’re old enough to drink! I don’t have an ounce of respect for any person that didn’t live at least one day in the 1980′s.
Reminds me of when I used to drink at the Doom Room (speaking of Dooms Day — it might’ve come and gone already — ever since they shut down that joint — is this hell? Am I in hell? Yeah, I’m in HELL). But some of the older patrons at the Doom Room used to say something to the effect of, “You can talk to me when you’ve been comin’ to this bar FOR 30 YEARS!” Ha-Ha! I’ll bet they didn’t have an ounce of respect for any person that didn’t live at least one day in the 1960′s.
Until next time, listen to Frank Zappa Radio on Pandora, serve cheap champagne to your guests and tell them it’s the good shit, leave the toilet like you found it and, uh, stay hot!
an expertly crafted hand turkey via microsoft 'paint'
Seriously, how awesome are hand turkeys? This was hands down the coolest and simplest arts and crafts memory from elementary school — although those memories are kinda dim after I split my head open on the corner of a desk during arts and crafts time in 3rd grade. Why did the teacher have to put that bucket of yarn under that DESK?!? DAMNIT!
Anyway, someone was just talking to me about how they can get creative with hand turkeys. I didn’t think it was even possible, aside from, you know, doing some self-amputation of your hand or recruiting some ‘hand models’ from Chernobyl.
But ALAS, after a painstaking Google Image search (.33 seconds according to their estimation), there are some really creative kiddies out there:
