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Last year I started this article with “February Sucks.”  I felt compelled to write this article at the same time because it’s true.  Let’s review 2012′s record to see if this is a worthwhile endeavor.

AL WEST

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Logored 

AL CENTRAL

Detroit Tigers Logogreen

AL EAST

Boston Red Sox logohahahahahared

To those who made the 2013 Bluejay prop bet in 2012 at +100000 based on my advice: you’re welcome.

AL Wildcard

New York Yankees logored

NL WEST

San Francisco Giants Logogreen

 

NL CENTRAL

Cincinnati Reds Logogreen

GAYEST LOGO

Miami Marlins Logogreen

NL EAST

Philadelphia Phllies Logored

NL Wildcard

Los Angeles Dodgers LogoClose…red

NL CHAMPION

Philadelphia Phllies Logored

AL CHAMPION

Detroit Tigers Logogreen

WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS

Detroit Tigers Logored

 

Dogshit.  But at 5/11 you’d still have had a positive payout.  But oh well, here we go 2013

Picks after the jump…

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oh great, another pitching cha.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Obviously all you seamheads out there are already incensed, so let me preface this by saying I used to be a huge baseball fan. I played Little League, I collected baseball cards, I’ve been to at least one Sox game every year since 1994, and I still watch baseball on the reg.

But after much soul-searching and self-realization, I’ve decided baseball sucks and I’m done with it. Basball is dying a slow death and will be irrelevant before our days are done on this Earth — that much I’m sure of.

There are many reasons behind this, which I will outline after the jump:

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Too Much Fire field reporter Brian Fantana has sent in his latest article, focusing on the young MLB season in STEROID WATCH 2012.

Exhibit 1: Omar Infante, 2B, Miami Marlins

With all of focus on Ozzie Guillen being a communist and the Jose Reyes/Hanley Ramirez bromance, no one seems to have noticed Omar Infante’s steroids in his locker. Only once in his career has Omar hit over 10 home runs and in the first two weeks of 2012 he has 4. I’m not a mathematician but I can tell you he is on pace for quite a bit more than 10 this year and we will be keeping an eye on his continued production.

 

Exhibit 2: George Kottaras, C, Milwaukee Brewers

Good ol’ George has always been kicked around as a committee catcher. Looks like he got sick of it this winter and decided to juice up. A slugging percentage of 1.067 to start the year? That’s more than double any previous season’s percentage – didn’t think anyone would notice George? This is why no one trusts you calling a major league game. He’s the kid who stole the answers to the test and didn’t know to get at least 1 or 2 wrong.

 

Exhibit 3: Nolan Reimold, OF, Baltimore Orioles

You would think that anyone doing well on the Orioles would be on this watch list but Nolan raises specific suspicion. If he equals last year’s total of 87 games played he is on pace for 34 home runs – last year he hit 13. Nearly tripled his production in the off season? This whole situation reeks of steroids and stale crab cakes.

 

 

Exhibit 4: Cuban Defect, Yoenis Cespedes, OF, Oakland Athletics

Yoenis’ presence on this list should be no surprise. I mean it must suck to always be introduced as Cuban Defect Cespedes. I bet you he wishes he paid more attention in biology class so he could be Dr. Cespedes – or really anything other than Cuban Defect. Anyways – he’s Cuban, abandoned his family and friends in Cuba – and he possesses the “do anything to win” attitude that Irv Blitzer had in Cool Runnings, aka CHEATER.

 

Check back in with us throughout the season for updates on these likely alleged cheaters and of course additions to the list.

February Sucks. Turn the TV on in February and you will be disappointed. Even the Australian Open isn’t on anymore. So until real sports return, we have to make shitty lists about what we think is going to happen in sport X in year Y. So, in that vein, we bring you TMF’s preview for the 2012 MLB season. Of course, if MLB fixes something that isn’t broken we’ll have another WC team to add in later. Bud Selig can blow me.

AL WEST

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Logo

The Angels suck but there’s only four teams here and Texas has an off year.

AL CENTRAL

Detroit Tigers Logo

I made bold prediction last year that the Royals would take this division. I won’t make that mistake twice.

AL EAST

Boston Red Sox logo

Why? Because fuck the Yankees. Of course, this team is quickly becoming a pretty unlikable group too. Blue Jays 2013.

More picks after the jump…

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The Big Lurvacious, otherwise known as Lurvey, is a friend and stat guy at ESPN, most commonly on Baseball Tonight. He’s only 26 but is on the fast track big wig over there, mostly because he brings the heat day in, day out. He wrote up a little futures preview of what he likes for betting next year’s world series. If Lurvey speaks, take note. 

Bodog apparently released their odds to win the 2012 World Series today. There are a few odds on here that really jump out to me as good or bad bets. Getting in on these prior to free agent signings — if we think we have a beat on something — could be huge.

Odds I like:

Seattle Mariners, 60-to-1: They have been linked to big bats, primarily Prince Fielder, this offseason. If they don’t get one, then this is not one I’m interested in. But if they do land a big bat, all of sudden they have a passable offense, some strong defense, some sick pitching and a winnable division. They need to land that big bat — though 60-to-1 might make it worthwhile before we know.

Cleveland Indians, 50-to-1: Not trying to be a homer here, but the AL Central fucking sucks and the Indians offense could actually be quite strong in 2012. Couple that with an already-solid bullpen and a rotation that is filled with a lot of guys who are strong bets to at least MAKE a lot of decent starts (Jimenez, Masterson, Carmona, Lowe, TBD). I could be convinced on the odds of a lot of these AL Central teams, though Detroit at 14-to-1 is not that appealing.

Toronto Blue Jays, 35-to-1: One of the up-and-coming teams in baseball and I expect them to be very active this offseason in landing an impact player. Excessively difficult division, but there’s very real reasons to believe that the Red Sox could be down in 2012.

Los Angeles Angels, 25-to-1: This might be the best bet of them all. Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, Ervin Santana already slotted into the rotation, a new GM who is not a complete moron like the last one and Arte Moreno’s money to go out and improve a club that was already pretty good in 2012.

- Others to consider: Reds (25-to-1), Rockies (25-to-1), Marlins (30-to-1), White Sox (30-to-1) and Royals (75-to-1).

Odds for all teams after the jump…

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