I guess you can say that I enjoy going out. But anything that has the word “dollar” in front of it just warms my heart. It’s like stealing in NYC if you get dollar beers. I know they do it all over, but so does the bar that’s right next to my house. I like the 20 foot walk to heaven. Let me tell you, dollar brews on 51st are WAY different from dollar brews on 109th. Just sayin’.
So I go over with my roommates one night, just meet up with a few friends. Quiz night/ dollar beers/ karaoke 10 – close. Boom. Between 5 of us we ended up crushing 51 beers. Even if they were under the normal price of 5 bucks, at $4 a piece that would have cost us over $200. Yet, $51 bucks gets us loaded. Awesome.
Of course I need to grab a picture of this statement just so I know that 51 beers in the matter of like 2 hours isn’t too shabby. One of the girls I’m with is like “ohh you gotta send me that pic!“ like a typical chick. I hand her my phone and say “ok go ahead put in your number and I can send it to you“. See what I did there.
What happens? She puts in the wrong number. Who doesn’t know their own number? This chick. Naturally when some random person texts me back I decide to let em’ know whats good.
The pic below is the bill, and the text message conversation below is the result of the wrong number.
I’m the green, aka “Steve”.
Stay hot, stay up. HAPPY WEEKEND.
Don’t talk to strangers. Unless they give you candy. That’s how you know they are nice people.
I CAN'T FIT MY COG IN THE MACHINE....
Got this nifty chart from co-worker and TMF reader TheStickyBandit. Courtesy of “Grub Street NYC.com”
Guess where I fit in?
That’s right…the COG
Do you have an office hangover sombrero?
Well I do, and it will be in FULL effect tomorrow. I’m currently an hour from my Christmas Office party and I will be printing out that little chart up there to make sure everyone hits their quota. In fact right now I am wearing the sombrero with the Santa hat over it…its like a cool Mexican thing to do. It says….I like to party, but Merry Christmas.
It’s also a Casino theme…which means there will be gambling? Not really sure how this will all pan out but I think it’s For Sure Not Good. Drinking + anything = not good for anyone around me. Only downside is we are at work so no rolling up fatties and smoking them in the bathroom. Christmas trees in full effect.
We want to hear your office party stories, I want to know about the bad decisions you made. I will report on my events tomorrow (unless I blackout). Get at us @toomuchfire1 / email@example.com.
stay hot, get freaky. see you tomorrow.
Safe to say GinzoNYC upped the ante on the gross factor. Wasn’t sure it was possible, or if I should even publish this but then I realized who wrote it… yikes.
A couple of weeks ago, prior to this whole Sandusky shit, I went to a Penn State bar to drink with some friends and watch the game.
The place was packed and the drinks were flowing. It was a pretty good time and I was on my way to blacking out, getting real dark on motherfuckers. Lucky for all you readers out there, I was completely wasted but remained coherent… That may be attributed to this straight up bro, who went around dumping bumps of blow in the palms of everyone’s hands, including mine.
Penn State won that game and everyone was ecstatic. This includes the sorry son of a bitch who decided to dump a full pint glass of Coors Light on my head… biggest mistake of his life.
(ed. note — read on if you dare…)
The Mona Lisa of my drunk photos...circa 2004 Red Sox World Series Parade
ok so it has been YEARS since I’ve blacked out. the picture above is from freshman year of college when one of my best friends and I went up to Boston for the Red Sox World Championship parade in 2004.
family members please stop reading now. thank you.
in total, I think it only happened a couple of times in college. not because I don’t like to drink – but I have what experts call “a high tolerance for booze”.
here is the story from Friday.
Three's no longer a crowd, it's a challenge.
FuKcup is a game invented out of boredom this weekend with my two friends and me. We basically wanted to play beer pong and didn’t have enough people, so instead of doing that 1v1v1 thing we decided to make a game which is basically a crossover of cutthroat in pool with some rules that elevate the risk/reward elements of strategy games.
Each person has a rack and a fuKcup, which is that very front cup you see in the picture in front of you. Here’s the rundown:
- If you make it in your own fuKcup, each player has to take one cup away of their choosing from their rack.
- If you miss and it lands in one of your other cups, you have to take away and drink two of your own cups.
- Comparitvely, if you are shooting at someone else’s rack and it happens to go in their fuKcup, you have to take away two of your own cups (that would be a fuckup, not a fuKcup).
- If you lose your rack, you’re out (fuKcup not included in rack).
- Current champion always gets the middle rack because of the ricochet benefit.
Risk, meet reward.
Now the real fun didn’t necessarily come from the originality — it’s all pretty simple — it came from the diplomacy. If someone makes their fuKcup and you take away the cup closest to your fuKcup, you take away some risk of missing your fuKcup (thus lessening the chance of fucking yourself), but you also make it easier for opponents to get you out at the end of the game because someone would much rather shoot for a lone ranger than one close to your fukcup, that if missed could end up costing them two cups and probably the game (the fuKcup can never win a game for you, it can only lose it. the final cup of an opponent must be made, you cannot make your own fuKcup to seal a victory). There is also considerable betting and alliances to be made during the contest, adding some well-hewn shit talk.
So, there are the rules in a nutshell. We played this game a couple times this weekend and everyone agreed it was very fire, especially the name FuKcup. Try it out this weekend and lemme know what you think.
Yo — greetings.
Coming to you live from the office on this Monday morning after a crazy 3-day weekend.
News flash: I think they shut off the internet in my apartment — but since we don’t pay that bill
because we don’t fucking care about bills I guess I don’t blame them.
I attended two weddings this weekend. The first was in Middletown, CT on Friday at ‘The Barn’ for one of my fraternity brothers.
Fraternity brother: Michael , fraternity nickname: Boobs, overall alcohol consumption: moderate. For the record, moderate for me is what gets most people drunk so don’t get it twisted.
like a boss.
Harpoon Octoberfest -- the sloppiest party this side of DEUTSCHLAND!
So once i unshackle myself from this soul-crushing cubicle, i’m heading straight to the Harpoon Brewery in SOUTHIE for the best party in Boston — old school german bands a la the ones at the Schnitzengiggle Tavern and the infamous Hofbrauhaus in Vegas, keg bowing, smokebombs all over the place, oh and getting completely SHITHOUSED with thousands of my closest beer-loving friends?
That’s right… Harpoon Octoberfest (OCKTOBAHFEST!) returns to Boston this weekend. This is literally my favorite time of the year. Crisp air, football all weekend err weekend, college chicks all over the city, and the best fucking high-test beer on planet earth.
So expect NEIN! but drunken nonsense out of me for the next two days.