A verbal spat upstairs woke me up last night, and this was the argument. Some dude had been “liking” a bunch of stuff on another girl’s profile and his wife was not happy. And by not happy, i mean she said shit like this, “YOU ONLY LIKE TWO MOTHERFUCKIN THINGS ON MY PROFILE AND YOU LIKE ERRTHANG ON HERS. SHE’S FAT AND PATHETIC, YOU TWO WOULD BE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER.”
:::door slamming:::
First of all, Armie Hammer did these guys a service by being way better looking than they actually are, because in real life they look like Adam Corolla if he got plastic surgery:
I CREATED WE THE FACEBOOKS~!
Ahhhhhh! Head for the hills!
On second thought, don’t be too alarmed; this floating potato will just be staring at you from the headlines for the next couple days.
Meredith Lowell, of Cleveland Heights, Ohio now stands accused of holding such contempt for people that wear fur she allegedly sought the services of a hit-man … from Facebook.
Once terrorists/ALF liberators move beyond organizing in Facebook groups like Fundamentalist Terror Friendship Network and Budget Hitmen we might all be in deep shit. I suspect by day 3 in the clink she will be browsing Pinterest for hitmen to rub out the purveyors of this fine compendium.
The lesson here is the same as it is anywhere. Avoid Ohio.
What are you missing? Nothing really. Unless you count everything, ol’ Facebook friend of mine.
But I see your point, Football players are way too tough to be raped, or at least they should be. So, with that in mind, we have to add it to our rape rankings:
Thanks for pointing it out for us. By the way, I’m pretty sure I have no legal obligation to blur out these names, but I’m a reasonable guy.
So with every important holiday, the collection of self-righteous assholes comes out on the social networks — i.e. the enablers of the culture of laziness in this country.
I mean, why actually volunteer at a homeless veterans shelter or SIGN UP for the military yourself when you can just write a 30 word post to your own friends — 99% of whom would never think twice about serving — about how awesome our veterans are and how GREAT America is?
While most of the Faceland sheep may read “Thank You Veterans!” and think “AWWW….he’s so socially-aware and concerned,” I read, “Thank you Veterans for doing what we’re too lazy and rich to do.”
God Bless America Indeed.
In this scene from Nixon, Oliver Stone has the President confront his “demons” or the racist, corporate-interest, GOP boosters from the South. I think Stone intended to show they were the ones responsible for the war, national debt, unemployment, segregation and homophobia. If you take Anthony Hopkins out of this scene and replace him with Barack Obama, I think you have an idea of how cho_kettie and the Occupiers think this country must work.
Nixon would be correct nowadays if he said of the Occupiers, “[I'll] tell you what would cure them. A good, old-fashioned trip to my Ohio father’s woodshed.”
But what I still don’t understand is how the lib kids elected their dream candidate, nothing has changed, they still want to bitch, but they don’t want to bitch at him. Ah — so they bitch at some deep, dark, double-secret conspiracy contrived in a ranch-style brandy room with obnoxious buck mounts and a hellacious fire place.
What they’re really doing is taking their cue from flunky British kids who watched The Football Factory too many times and dirt-poor middle-eastern kids whose countries really are fucked up.
But hey, I’m not saying this is all bad. I’m glad to see the smart-phone generation doing their bitching on the streets rather than from the couch using Facebook.
Still, we don’t bitch in this country. We invent. We compete. And if we don’t get it our way — we sue. That’s the truth.
Here’s a thought experiment: Add up all the money and time you’ve spent going to your “creative” friends’ concerts, plays, art shows, and charity events. Got it? Now add up how much time and money they’ve spent going to shit you do. Alrightsweet. My answer is a lot to fucking nothing, chances are you came up with the same thing. Where is the goddamn reciprocation? In college I asked my musician friends to come to my math final and watch me take it. They thought I was joking. Well, fuck them. I thought maybe at age 26 people would stop asking me to come to their shit, mostly because I figured by now they’d have given up their dreams. Nope. Assholes still sending me Facebook invites and I’m sick of it. As of right now, I will not support another local band, theater performance, charity event or art show until all of those people participate in…
TMF’s WEEK OF ME: A ONE MAN SHOW.
This event is mandatory.
MONDAY:
7am: Watch me stand in line at the DMV to try and avoid a smog check
8am: Watch me jerk off before work.
12pm: Watch me read fantasy football analysis while I stuff a burger down my throat.
3pm: Watch me in another jerk off session. This time during work.
4pm: Watch me talk on gchat with people about how much life sucks.
5pm: Watch me sit in traffic and yell racist things inside my own car.
6pm: Watch me watch TV.
7pm: Watch me eat Subway and complain about how shitty Subway is.
730pm: Watch me start drinking.
8pm: Watch me try to think of ideas for this shitty website.
815pm: Watch me say “fuck it” and play video games.
9pm: Watch me unsuccessfully try to get laid.
11pm: Watch me pass out while unsuccessfully trying to jerk off.
TUESDAY THROUGH SUNDAY:
Pretty much the same thing as Monday.
If you’re truly a good friend, you’d come. If not I’m going to guilt trip you every time I see you and make backhanded jokes about how you didn’t come to my show, and then say “no, I’m just kidding it’s fine.” See you there! xoxo J
