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Incense and Peppermints: The Joe Youngblood Story, Afterword

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October 23, 2011
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“Creative writing is like surgery. When you’re ON, you’re operating with a razor-sharp scalpel. When you’re OFF, you’re operating with a fork and butter knife. Any dick suck can use a fork and knife; it takes a surgeon to use a scalpel.”

- Lao Tzu, 4th Century BC

What becomes of a man such as Joe Youngblood? A man at war with the world? A revolutionary in a war for the West, a war he felt never ended properly? What becomes of an angry man?

According to Dad’s story, as the decade wore on, Joe Youngblood became a regular user of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). One night he murdered this little blond girlfriend he had. For the next two weeks, as a manhunt ensued, Joe survived in the woods surrounding Lake Lewisville. When he was finally captured, he beat the murder rap after passing a polygraph examination. Due to his extensive LSD use, Joe had zero recollection of the murder.

Eventually, due to his extensive LSD use, Joe was admitted to the mental institution up in Wichita Falls.

As for Dad, he got drunk and totaled his 1988 Ferrari Testarossa in 1999. Although there’s no connection between Joe Youngblood and that incident, I’ve always thought they were somehow aligned.

I stated in Part 1 that I believe this story plays a role in the history of this country. Indeed, I believe that’s true. It’s not as consequential as what happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963, but nonetheless, history involves men such as Joe Youngblood. To ignore the Joe Youngbloods would be to misunderstand history entirely. To forget the Joe Youngbloods would be to burn history altogether.

Then again, it could all just be a yardstick for lunatics … history that is.

Incense and Peppermints: The Joe Youngblood Story, Part 5

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October 20, 2011
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There’s been a little confusion since Part 4 of the Joe Youngblood Story was published.  ’Lot of people thought that was the end …

Far from it.

After their ride down I-35, Joe Youngblood acknowledged Dad. I use the word “acknowledged” rather than “respected” or “admired” because I don’t think Joe Youngblood respected or admired any white man, living or dead. But he mustered up some acknowledgment for Dad.

Damn sure did.

Let me illustrate: Joe Youngblood went to this burger joint in Denton one afternoon. It was one of those places where you order with the cashier, take your ticket, and wait for them to call your name. Well, Joe got tired of waiting so he walked up and took another customer’s order. The customer objected and called the manager’s attention. After a bunch of tough talk from both sides, the manager pulled Joe over the counter and whipped his ass.

Joe went home and got his revolver.

When he got back to the burger joint, he fired a round into the hood of every car in the parking lot. But that wasn’t enough. Afterward, he went back to the apartment building and proceeded to fire a round into the hood of every car there as well.

I want everyone reading this to stop and think about it for a second. A revolver holds six rounds at most. That means in all likelihood, Joe Youngblood had to reload his revolver after shooting the 6th car at the burger joint and the apartment building.

Hell, at the apartment building he may’ve needed to reload multiple times. But there’s one critical detail here: Joe Youngblood fired a round into the hood of every car at the apartment building, every car but one — Dad’s 1964 Jaguar XKE.

Incense and Peppermints: The Joe Youngblood Story, Part 4

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October 18, 2011
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Sorry about the pause between Parts 3 and 4. I know how it is to be left hanging by a thread. It’s just this damn West Texas lifestyle. It’s beginning to wear me down. They’re damn right when they say this place is no country for old men.

Where the hell were we in Part 3?

Right, Dad was forced to go for a ride with Joe Youngblood in his Corvette down Interstate 35 . . . at Joe’s insistence . . . and in the pouring rain.

Either Joe Youngblood failed to take into account the effect a wet surface would have on a vehicle supported by drag slicks or he didn’t care. I prefer to believe the latter.

According to my father’s testimony, Joe Youngblood’s Corvette hydroplaned as they approached 100 miles per hour in the southbound lanes of I-35. He claimed the vehicle turned completely sideways while hydroplaning, and they continued to pass slower traffic as they skid forward. In fact, Dad said he remembered making eye contact with a driver in the next lane over as they passed him going sideways.

I’m not sure how Joe Youngblood recovered his Corvette after hydroplaning sideways down I-35 and frankly, I don’t care. I’m perfectly content allowing this portion of the Joe Youngblood Story to end with that last detail.

In my imagination, however, I picture Joe Youngblood and Dad stalled in the median gasping for air as the rain continued to pour down outside. I imagine Joe saying something like:

“Yeah . . . Fuck yeah . . . Crazy shit.”

Incense and Peppermints: The Joe Youngblood Story, Part 3

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October 11, 2011
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We’re all a little biased because we live here in the future — that is, the post O.J. Simpson murder trial era. I firmly believe that as we progress further into the 21st Century, it will become common for us to reference time in relation to to the Simpson trial: Before the O.J.M.T. and After the O.J.M.T.

People will be like, “Oh, well, that was before the O.J. murder trial . . .”

More on this later.

The Joe Youngblood story took place approximately 30 years before The Juice ran from the cops down the 405 freeway. I-35 is the State of Texas’ answer to the 405 freeway (or any California freeway for that matter). Texas figured, “Hell, we may not have as many freeways as Californy but we damn sure’re gonna make ONE that’s BIGGER and LONGER. Shit, we’ll build a freeway that goes clear across the great State of Texas!”

The crux of the Joe Youngblood story took place on I-35 … in the rain.

“LET’S RACE!”

“No man, I don’t want to race.”

“COME ON!  LET’S RACE!”

“It’s raining outside — not a good time to race. Maybe another time?”

“AH HELL!”

“Sorry.”

“LET’S GO FOR A RIDE IN MY CORVETTE!”

“No Joe, you know –”

“LET’S GO!”

Joe Youngblood stormed out the door. Dad had no choice but to follow …

Incense and Peppermints: The Joe Youngblood Story, Part 2

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October 7, 2011
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Everyone around the apartment building knew Joe Youngblood liked to carry around a gun — a big revolver. He always flashed it out and showed it to people.

But Joe Youngblood didn’t really become known as Joe Youngblood until the card game incident.

While visiting a neighbor’s apartment for a game of poker, Joe began to suspect the guy sitting on the couch was cheating. He jolted out of his chair, pulled out his revolver and shot the guy in the head — blood splattered all over the wall behind the couch.

Joe bolted out of his neighbor’s apartment believing he committed murder. He disappeared for two days.

In actuality, the guy on the couch was not killed by the gun shot. The bullet grazed his skull near his hair line and while the impact knocked him unconscious and caused abrupt bleeding, he survived with only a minor injury.

Joe returned to the apartment in Denton after two days and was never charged with a crime relating to the card game incident. It wouldn’t be Joe’s last time, however, to pull out his revolver …

Incense and Peppermints: The Joe Youngblood Story, Part 1

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October 7, 2011
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In 1964, my father moved to Denton, Texas, and began his first semester of college at North Texas State University (now UNT). He roomed with his best friend from high school at an apartment building notorious for its un-kept swimming pool filled with beer, piss, and anything else ungodly that might’ve contributed to the black coloration of the water. The place was a madhouse and it was common for drunk college students to jump from the top story of the building into the filthy pool at night.

Anyhow, they had this neighbor, an Indian named Joe Youngblood. This story is about him. See, we all hear stories from our parents growing up: some are for lesson, others for amusement, and some are just plain bullshit. But this story my Dad once told … it’s not to make you laugh or to shock you or to prove how kick ass of a story teller I am. No, this is one of those stories I’m telling because I truly believe it plays a role in the history of this country. I truly believe it must be told.   

Dad always had nice cars when he was young … he always had nice cars period. In ’64, he was cruising around Denton in the Jaguar XKE.

Joe Youngblood drove an early ’60s Corvette — the ’64 is pictured here. Among other adjustments he made to his ride, he replaced tread tires with drag slicks for increased speed potential.

One day while Dad was sitting in his apartment with his roommate (I’m not sure if marijuana had been invented yet), the door slammed open and the big Indian, Joe Youngblood, appeared in the doorway.

“WHOSE XKE!?!” Joe demanded.

A moment went by as Dad and his roommate looked at one another, unsure how to respond.

“Mine.” Dad finally admitted.

“LET’S RACE!”

To understand the gravity of this situation, you first need to understand more about Joe Youngblood….