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Tag Archives: nyc

Electric Zoo 2012 Video

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September 7, 2012
attractive females, drinking, hot shit
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My 26th birthday party was a fucking blast, I’m finally getting my life back together. Thanks to all those who came out and unknowingly took part in my birthday celebration at Electric Zoo 2012

Next year I’m going all 3 days I already decided.

My favorite sets in order: Hardwell, David Guetta, Nicky Romero, Tommy Trash, Netsky. That’s about all I remember.

No lie, I had to watch the 2 hours of video I have to remember most of what happened.

I shot, edited and produced this myself.

Hope you enjoy.

STAY HOT.

paula deen, welcome to the world of diabetus, bitch

By
January 17, 2012
"news", fat america, introspection
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Yes, I am a jackass. Just look at my face.

Toomuchfire did it the other day, so lets get introspective bitches.

First off, NO, I would never wish this on anyone. But how do I possibly find myself in this emotional spin after I hear another American is subject to taking insulin everyday? Maybe because of who is involved? Paula “Cook it in Fat” Deen. Maybe because shes a pretentious bitch who thinks everything is about her? Ehhh….Probably.

I have lived with Diabetes for almost ten years now. I’ve worked with hundreds of 6-12 year-old kids who have had it since they were born. Life changing experience if you ask me, watching a 7 year-old give themselves a shot of insulin to survive. It’s a struggle. But these kids do it everyday and will continue to do so for the rest of their life.

I didn’t host a show for fatties on the Food Network with the main ingredient being LARD, or giggle at deep fried butter covered in salt and make that horrific face she makes. She basically lied to her audience and fans/followers (also jack-asses) for three whole years.

But Why?

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Texting with strangers pt. 1

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January 13, 2012
texting with strangers
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I guess you can say that I enjoy going out. But anything that has the word “dollar” in front of it just warms my heart. It’s like stealing in NYC if you get dollar beers. I know they do it all over, but so does the bar that’s right next to my house. I like the 20 foot walk to heaven. Let me tell you, dollar brews on 51st are WAY different from dollar brews on 109th. Just sayin’.

So I go over with my roommates one night, just meet up with a few friends. Quiz night/ dollar beers/ karaoke 10 – close. Boom. Between 5 of us we ended up crushing 51 beers. Even if they were under the normal price of 5 bucks, at $4 a piece that would have cost us over $200. Yet, $51 bucks gets us loaded. Awesome.

Of course I need to grab a picture of this statement just so I know that 51 beers in the matter of like 2 hours isn’t too shabby. One of the girls I’m with is like “ohh you gotta send me that pic!“  like a typical chick. I hand her my phone and say “ok go ahead put in your number and I can send it to you“. See what I did there.

What happens? She puts in the wrong number. Who doesn’t know their own number? This chick. Naturally when some random person texts me back I decide to let em’ know whats good.

The pic below is the bill, and the text message conversation below is the result of the wrong number.

I’m the green, aka “Steve”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stay hot, stay up. HAPPY WEEKEND.
Don’t talk to strangers. Unless they give you candy. That’s how you know they are nice people.

 

reader e-mail — would you live with this guy?

By
November 30, 2011
fan mail
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Future Roomate KD is a good friend and an avid TMF reader. We call her “Future Roommate” because she was supposed to live with me but we have since parted ways. The name stays so…it is what it is.

She usually hooks me up with hot-fire jams and interesting life stories about herself. We have both been going through the roommate/apartment search bullshit together. This one if pure fire. She sends me an email she got from a guy responding to her Craigslist ad looking for a 3rd roommate. Needless to say, he wont be living with them.

“Ounce of schwag? For 200? Is that a fair price you’re quoting me there, sir?” – Larry David

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italian-american new yorker on the origins of pizza

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November 14, 2011
observations
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TMF’s newest contributor — ginzonyc — is a self-described “Ginny” from NYC and pretty much the stereotypical loudmouth New York asshole. But he’s OUR asshole damnit! Ginzo comes right out of the gate with some flaming hot ranting about Koreans inventing pizza — a true flashpoint for any Italian from the Tri-State area. Expect plenty of more ranting and raving in the coming weeks.

This is absolute fuckin’ horse shit … The Koreans invented Pizza?

Why the hell didn’t they keep making it and selling it? Why aren’t there pizzerias all over New York waiving a Korean Flag? I know why … because they don’t know how the fuck to make it because they didn’t invent it.

Just what I need when I am calling in an order for a couple of pies is some motherfucker on the other end of the line that I can’t understand. You ever order Chinese food? You know how difficult it is and frustrating it is to fucking call in an order for Chinese food? Alright, I know, Chinese people and Korean people are different…Shut up, I know. They all suck at speaking English though.

Fast forward to around the 2:23 mark … Dude doesn’t even know how to say “pizza.” It’s Pee-ZA, not “picture” you Chow Mein slurping fool. @ 2:34 mark- Kim Jong-Il over here says “we are origin of ‘picture’”… no shit. I see you guys wearing your I <3 NY tees every day, blocking pedestrian traffic in NYC snapping “picja’s” of dog shit. Dog shit… I bet thats what your fuckin’ pizza tastes like you sons of bitches…

Getthafuckattahere with this shit. Keep crying about it …. Don’t even get me started on that fuckin’ buy-one-get-one thing at the 3:10 mark. Buy one pie get a garlic bread free? I would like to hear one of those momo’s try and say “garlic”… fuckattahere…… GO GINNYS!

I’d compare NYC brokers to…

By
November 4, 2011
observations, tales
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Looking for an apartment in New York City is the worst experience ever. Over the last few weeks I have pretty much seen it all. I noticed some correlation between the brokers characteristics and some people you may know. I’ve listed a few here — but I’m looking for some feed back and horror stories. Send them over and we’ll get them up. Enjoy.

crazy girlfriends / stalkers. (same thing)

Please see below photo. Griff, if you read this I promise I’ll call you back later.

let me tell you about this 646 number you see below. These are JUST the voicemails. I also had two other calls from him. Text messages are a whole different story — texts me 3 times a day. Doesn’t sound bad, but seeing as I don’t know him at all, shit is CREEPY.

lay off man...

Called this bro on Tuesday  to set up a meeting at 1:30pm. This takes time from my busy cubicle monkey day to go to view an apartment — but I tell myself it will be worth it.

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Weekend Warrior

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October 17, 2011
drinking, tales
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Yo — greetings.

Coming to you live from the office on this Monday morning after a crazy 3-day weekend.

News flash: I think they shut off the internet in my apartment — but since we don’t pay that bill because we don’t fucking care about bills I guess I don’t blame them.

I attended two weddings this weekend. The first was in Middletown, CT on Friday at ‘The Barn’ for one of my fraternity brothers.

Fraternity brother: Michael , fraternity nickname: Boobs, overall alcohol consumption: moderate. For the record, moderate for me is what gets most people drunk so don’t get it twisted.

like a boss.

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