As the site rises in traffic, my adderall self rises to more bets. he literally leaves nothing in the account when i go in there to try and slide a sober bet in. of course, he knows better than to leave money in there for me to fuck up again.
DETROIT LIONS (-3) over the Broncos: Stealing my thunder huh? You give me the 1% chance a team has from coming back from 15 down with six minutes in the fourth quarter and squeeze a ton of value out of it? that’s messed up dude.
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (+9.5) over the Texans: Nope, don’t like this one at all. feels like 10-0 final score texans to me. i don’t think adderall self realizes i have to watch these games because he seriously bets the most money on the most boring teams. SIDE BET: TEXANS (-6.5) FIRST HALF and FIRST HALF (UNDER 21). this is getting way too fucking confusing. i’m going to need an explanation if this actually hits.
CINCINNATI BENGALS (-3) over the Seahawks: I find it weird I haven’t pushed a bet yet this year. i wonder if adderall self knows that ced benson is out this game. he’s the best fucking running back in the league. he’s averaging like 17 inches a down. Seattle is prob going to cut that in half with the backup. No shot.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS (+3.5) against the Panthers: This is just cruel man. Cam Newton wins you all this money and you’re going to go and bet against him? that’s seriously fucked up. you deserve nothing but a career day from newt and a trip to the atm ya bitch.
WASHINGTON REDSKINS (bought to +7) against the Bills: Alright, let me get this straight. the week i find out i’m probably allergic to beer i have to sit and cheer for the redskins, the jags, and the vikings? This is probably the end of me. no possible way i can do that without 70 beers and some FuKcup, That game is fire by the way. you all should play it. I don’t care if adderall self makes money, drunk self makes up fire games.
Alright now there’s a bunch of half bets or smaller so i’m just going to list them and forget about it. they’re all obscure and reaching arthouse betting shit like its season four of breaking bad. boring.
COLTS (+9) and OVER (43.5) against the Titans
SAINTS (-14) against the Rams
DOLPHINS (+9.5) against the Giants.
10 POINT TEASER (MIA +19.5, SKINS +16, BROWNS +19)
No sober bets this week. but look for tmf and the rest of the fire crew monday on the real housewives of beverly hills. yeah, it’s a long story. some other time.