oh great, another pitching cha.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Obviously all you seamheads out there are already incensed, so let me preface this by saying I used to be a huge baseball fan. I played Little League, I collected baseball cards, I’ve been to at least one Sox game every year since 1994, and I still watch baseball on the reg.
But after much soul-searching and self-realization, I’ve decided baseball sucks and I’m done with it. Basball is dying a slow death and will be irrelevant before our days are done on this Earth — that much I’m sure of.
There are many reasons behind this, which I will outline after the jump:
So last week we had Yorvitt Torreabla punch an umpire in the face after striking out swinging – although this incident dates back to October, we just got the facts. Luis Suarez was given an 8 game ban for uttering racial slurs to Patrice Evra. Suarez is from Uruguay and plays for Liverpool, Evra is from France and plays for Manchester United – The french I wouldn’t mess with but Man U has some insane fans I would not want on my bad side – so what did Suarez say? Had this happened in the United States I am pretty sure the media would call for him not not be allowed to play ever again but it was England so its cool apparently.
Evra asked Suarez during the October game why he had been kicked, the striker replied in Spanish: “Porque tu eres negro.” (That translates as “because you are black.”)
Evra said he would punch Suarez if he repeated the comment. Suarez replied: ‘No hablo con los negros’ — ‘I don’t speak to blacks.’”
The best thing for Suarez is England’s golden boy John Terry recently got in trouble for similar shit but this exchange could definitely not be topped.
So what is the more ballsy move? Punching an official in the face or wearing your racism on your sleeve?
somehow this mutt got on the pitch at a copa sudamericana match last night in south america, and then did his best to turn the proceeding three minutes into a bullfighting match, complete with the collective ‘OLE!’ coming from the spectators.
after seeing stone-faced coach unamused at the sight, it was nice to see at the 1:47 mark at least one of the guys down there got the message.
but of course this bred curiosity and i immediately needed to understand the scope of perro pitch invasiones over the years, and i’m happy to report this is the only one worth watching, purely for the english commentary drier than their gin:
and of course rife with witty banter in the comments section:
dog was offside in my opinion..
dog had good pace. sign him quick man city
good defending by the dog. he had the other side of the goal line covered. the goalie was flanked on both sides. good dog!
i think this certainly qualifies for a new addition to our KICK ASS DOGS segment…OLE!
so i know all the losers in boston and new york create this epic “rivalry” between our teams, but seriously nothing in the states comes close to rivalries in europe, where support of teams is basically tied to religious and/or class warfare that goes back hundreds of years.
celtic/rangers, everton/liverpool and aston villa/birmingham city are all catholic/protestant grudges held over from the reformation.
but this weekend features one of the better rivalries — manchester united v. manchester city — where it’s difficult to comprehend how two groups of people in the same city can even co-exist without smashing beer bottles over eachother’s domes and beating eachother senseless with steel rebar or something.
city and united are first and second, respectively, in the premiership and this should be a cracker of a match.
so new york, philly…fucking spare me. i’m gonna go study abroad and get rowdy with the only fans left in the world who haven’t turned into a bunch of fat assholes who sit through hours of commercial breaks to watch 15 minutes of real action.