Heading to Texas tomorrow to see los juggernaut with the Good Doctor. I anticipate a lot of crazy things to happen. TMF road show…the Dojo is taking over.
los juggernaut: bad news, i checked and if you buy a gun in texas you cannot transport it across state lines pharro : ok so ill just buy, use it a bunch then leave it there los juggernaut: maybe if you put it in a jar of peanut butter…. pharro : ooooh right pharro : but the handle wont fit in the jar pharro : what if i just get a gallon ziplock bag pharro : fill THAT with peanut butter pharro : drop my glock in los juggernaut: YAHTZEE pharro : fool proof los juggernaut: DOJO pharro : i bet dad would just say, give it to me – I wont let them take it from me
Each year in Austin, TX there is a major art festival called South By Southwest (SXSW) and a few buddies (who happen to be twin brothers) from high school got a film accepted in this year calledFuneral Kings. Your first thought is probably – “oh you’re just supporting this because you went to school with the kids.” Even if I didn’t and this came across my desk I would have to get the word out. I just happened to have the inside scoop and we’re bringing you this first. Watch the trailer and judge for yourself…this movie is going to be straight fire.
I remember watching the short films these guys made in high school for some low key competitions – while those were good; adding Leo DiCaprio’s coke head cousin from the Departed is a pretty big step up from that for their first feature film. I don’t see it disappointing. Oh and if you are wondering about other famous brother directing duos?
Farrelly Brothers – Dumb and Dumber, Something About Mary, Kingpin… (Also from Rhode Island)
Coen Brothers – Fargo, Big Lebowski, No Country For Old Men…
Are the McManus Brothers the next? A bit early for that but the whole brothers combination seems to work – I’d keep an eye on them.
If you happen to be in Austin this weekend, go see Funeral Kings Saturday at 7:30 pm – FULL INFO. And if you like the trailer – check out http://wwww.mcmanusbros.com/ for their other stuff. It is showing a few other times throughout the week so if you can get your ass to Austin to see it, do it. I’m going to make it to one. The only thing that could be more fire than the film is the soundtrack – sounds legit.
Side note…could los juggernaut and pharro be the best blogging brother team ever? I think yes.
An Orthodox Jewish high school basketball team from Houston is out of the playoffs after losing its appeal to change a state semifinal game time that conflicted with its observation of the Sabbath. Robert M. Beren Academy filed an appeal to the Texas Association of Private and Parochial Schools to change its Class 2A state semifinal game time against Dallas Covenant, scheduled for 9 p.m. Friday in Mansfield, southeast of Fort Worth. FULL STORY
When you first read this what was your first thought? I am guessing it was one of these two things:
1) Wow, that sucks for that team, that the had to forfeit the game because of a religious conflict. (Lets be honest, this might have crossed your mind for a minute but you immediately went to #2)
OR
2) Wow a Jewish basketball team made the playoffs? That in itself deserves special consideration because when is the next time this is going to happen?
Well, I would say that neither of these things is as crazy as the fact that this Jewish Basketball team is from Houston, Texas. Am I the only one who sees how insane this is that there are enough Jewish kids in Houston to put together a school let alone a winning basketball team? I mean come on, when you first think of Texans there is no way you think that there are more than a few hundred Jewish people in the whole state. And I would assume after the hurricane a few years back all the Jewish would have been smart enough to move north. The most conservative and republican state is not a place I would imagine a Jewish school to be. Is Houston becoming the new Florida where old Jewish New Yorkers go to retire?
On top of all this I cannot ignore how amazing it is that a Jewish basketball team made the playoffs in Texas – not an easy task. Especially considering this was likely their instructional video
We can all argue about things being “so American”, but honestly, what was one of the first traditions in America? Turkey on Thanksgiving. Now these PETA activists assholes are attacking a town for using the word “Turkey” as their name — of all times, in November.
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has asked the mayor of Turkey, Texas to change the name of his town to “Tofurky,” a vegan turkey alternative.
So you want a town who has less than 500 residents and the only cool thing about their town is the name to change it to Tofurkey? This town has nothing, the majority of the town lives below the poverty line and their cool town name is all they have going. I’m pretty sure they’re just paying homage to turkeys, not promoting the eating of them. So whats your real agenda PETA? Do you not want people to even think about Turkeys?
Anyways… Lets get some things straight :
1) No one likes tofurkey. I’m not even sure vegans actually like it, they just know they can’t have the real thing so mixed cardboard powder and some other shit to concoct tofurkey. It is not turkey. I don’t care if it “tastes similar” (I’m sure it doesn’t) and you will never convince us (the American public) otherwise. Stop forcing your hippie ideals on everyone, if we want to eat turkey like they did at the first Thanksgiving, tough shit. You want to stop people from whaling? Fine, but thats in Japan. Leave the people of Turkey Texas alone.
2) Next time you want to give an incentive, don’t offer a tofurkey dinner to the entire town. What makes you think that anyone would go for that?
“Kids…this year we’re not going to make a turkey. Some hippies are going to come by in their electric minivans and drop of Tofurkey!”
How un-American does that sound? Did I go into a coma and this is now Canada? How about you throw away the tofurkey and drop off the rest of that meal at a homeless shelter. Seriously if you want to make a positive difference in this world do that — don’t force your bullshit ideals on people.
3) This is NOT like people wanting to change the name of sports teams from “Scalping Savages” or anything — those cases are stupid too. I can see if a HUMAN BEING is offended because a name is “offensive”. But if this happens, what is next? Are the Detroit Tigers stripped of their name because Tigers are endangered? Do we really care that much about animals? I’m pretty sure Turkeys are not intelligent animals and their only purpose in life is to be delicious and to breed before that so there can be more delicious birds.
PETA, I hate you. Always have, always will. You serve this world no purpose other than providing me with (now daily) ammunition to rip you apart with. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
Junior year of college: A bunch of my friends who studied abroad came back with this smug act of being more cultured than everyone who stayed around campus and like, you know, worked on their careers and shit. They all suddenly become wine connoisseurs and turned away cheap beer because it’s not like the pubs in Ireland or the Weissbier they had at Oktoberfest.
Well, Kyle Bass says fuck you.
"Have fun overseas! I'll just be here making money."
You’d probably reply, “excuse me, who are you?” But Kyle wouldn’t have time to answer because he’s too busy blowing up beavers who try to get all up in his private water supply and fuck with his million dollars worth of nickels. That’s right, Kyle Bass has more money in nickels than you assholes who went overseas will have in your entire life. He’s never left Texas, but bet on the fall of Greece, the collapse in Iceland, and the 2008 financial crisis in America. He now has his sights on France. You know France right? That country you visited sophomore year, the one with the rolling hillsides and omg Paris! Remember Paris?!? Of course you do, you took ten thousand pictures of it and put them on facebook with the album titled “Paris, Je T’Aime.”
This is where Kyle blasts on by on his Humvee and screams, “WHERE’S YOUR CULTURE NOW BITCHES? YEAAAAAAAHAAAAAAW!”
Why didn’t all you cultured folks who toured Europe have any idea it was about to go belly up? What did Kyle Bass do so differently than all you ambitious young minds who witnessed the Mona Lisa IN PERSON?
Oh yeah, he used this:
You can even Google other stuff too
See, Kyle Bass wasn’t a moron. He didn’t need a life changing experience to be more open minded. he just assumed that millions of years of evolution of a single species would produce at least some patterns in human nature, and just because some place had a renaissance and another had a revolution doesn’t mean they are suddenly freed from the confines of biology. You ask someone who went to Iceland about the country and they remark the lovely natural heat (not the part about it boiling people alive occasionally) or the incredibly friendly (inbred) people, or the vibrant folklore (they actually believe elves exists and you have to get a guy to come make sure none live under your property). They probably snapped a few “breathtaking” photos of the landscape too. Then you say something like, “Hey did you know the leader of the central bank was a trained poet with no financial experience whatsoever?” They go, “Huh?” You reply, “Yeah, he’s one of the reasons Iceland went under and lost the Krona. He’s a moron.” They look back at you and nod, but go onto another story about backpacking through Greece. You say, “Hey isn’t it weird that nobody in Greece paid their taxes for twenty years and the government didn’t do anything about it?” They look back, more confused now, but continue, “Oh and the monasteries are beautiful, especially in Meteora, which most Americans think is just the name of a Linkin Park album, yuk yuk yuk…”
Kyle Bass speeds by again, yelling, “THOSE DAMN MONKS DUN FUCKED THEMSELVES, GOLLLEEEEAAAAAAH”
I wonder how many people down in the Occupy Wall Street Movement went overseas during college, “found themselves” and airmailed a new personality back to the states with the intention of changing the world only to find themselves unemployed and waiting for sign making to become a lucrative profession. Shit, that won’t work cause THIS FUCKING DUCK already got that job.
You trying to suck me?
Fucking duckies. I knew we shouldn’t have let them into the country. Oh and fuck you Robin Williams, don’t think I forgot about this little diatribe:
Yeah, you’re just bitter your wife farted and then died and for some reason that means you can only work at a community college with a bunch of morons even though you have an Ivy League education. Eh, you’d probably just start some stupid club like the dead poets or something and tell all your students to live life to the fullest and shit. They’ll probably all go overseas at some point too.
We’re all a little biased because we live here in the future — that is, the post O.J. Simpson murder trial era. I firmly believe that as we progress further into the 21st Century, it will become common for us to reference time in relation to to the Simpson trial: Before the O.J.M.T. and After the O.J.M.T.
People will be like, “Oh, well, that was before the O.J. murder trial . . .”
More on this later.
The Joe Youngblood story took place approximately 30 years before The Juice ran from the cops down the 405 freeway. I-35 is the State of Texas’ answer to the 405 freeway (or any California freeway for that matter). Texas figured, “Hell, we may not have as many freeways as Californy but we damn sure’re gonna make ONE that’s BIGGER and LONGER. Shit, we’ll build a freeway that goes clear across the great State of Texas!”
The crux of the Joe Youngblood story took place on I-35 … in the rain.
“LET’S RACE!”
“No man, I don’t want to race.”
“COME ON! LET’S RACE!”
“It’s raining outside — not a good time to race. Maybe another time?”
“AH HELL!”
“Sorry.”
“LET’S GO FOR A RIDE IN MY CORVETTE!”
“No Joe, you know –”
“LET’S GO!”
Joe Youngblood stormed out the door. Dad had no choice but to follow …
So down in the state of Texas this was what people here consider the most exciting weekend of the college football season, the Red River Rivalry.
Oklahoma entered ranked #3 — well deserving of the rank. Some would even argue they should still be # 1 or #2. So maybe it has its flaws, in that a team that started the season #1 and hasn’t lost got over taken.
LSU beat much better teams. I am fine with them hopping OU, but that’s not important.
Texas entered ranked #11. This is where the flaws really start. Texas, a team that barely beat a sub par BYU team at home and has not beaten anyone of note with all their hard games still ahead of them after suffering a 55-17 defeat to Oklahoma. In fact, with the exception of the Kansas Jayhawks, Texas could easily lose the rest of their remaining games. So why was Texas ranked 11? A friend made a good point saying that they may have fixed the rankings to get better ratings. Would you rather watch the #3 team play the #11 team or the #24 team (where Texas probably belonged)?
We also had Florida State ranked #4 preseason. After playing two warm-up games, (I thought teams were only supposed to play one?), they were all primed for their big early season showdown with the Sooners. Florida State lost 23-13 … Respectable, I’ll give them that. Then this last weekend they lost to Wake Forest. Wake Forest lost to Syracuse who hasn’t been good since the Donovan McNabb/Quinton Spotwood era. So what does that say about the ability to pre-rank teams? Should there even be pre-ranks?
There is the argument that a team ranked out of the top-15 can kiss any prayer of playing for the National Championship goodbye. It’s more than an argument. It’s a fact.
Observe a school like Clemson, who started the season unranked. They are now 6-0 after defeating ranked teams three straight weeks, including hammering Virginia Tech 23-3 on the road. I am not saying Clemson is the best team in the country or deserves a top three ranking right now but if there were no pre-ranks, where would they be right now?
Or look at my least favorite college Boise State (that blue field is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen). They started the season ranked #5. They sit at #5. After traveling to Georgia and coming out with a W week one, and winning all their game since they were jumped by Wisconsin in the rankings. I think Wisconsin is that good and has a chance to run the table but that doesn’t justify them jumping another undefeated team who has wins against as many ranked opponents as them. One.
