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Tag Archives: tim tebow

soop’ bo!

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February 4, 2012
false celebrity endorsements
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On December 11, 2011, Yippykaijay posted the most controversial article in TMF history. What was it? It was a simple picture of a guy who helps out on the Dallas Cowboys coaching staff. Yippykaijay is somewhat of a Cowboys sympathizer — he’ll admit that. But his post was so controversial, so polarizing, that TMF’s editor felt the need to add the following caveat:

“(editors note — nobody else on this site endorses Rob Ryan or Rex Ryan, and nor should yippiekaijay after that 4th quarter performance…yikes)”

Part of the problem was that some contributors were worried toomuchfire.com might be perceived as a site which does not absolutely HATE the Dallas Cowboys.

However, if you’ve ever visited our site before, you’ve noticed three things:

  1. Outright support for the New England Patriots
  2. Mockery of the various misfortunes of the Dallas Cowboys, and
  3. Downright disdain for Eli Manning (and Tim Tebow)

Why is this? (After the jump)

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Matthew 19:24?

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January 10, 2012
sports / deportes
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The Good Book says.....

I don’t pretend to be a preacher or someone who knows a ton about the Bible, however after spending my entire life in Catholic/Christian education – I know some verses.

Matthew 19:24? Whats that one say?

“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”


So with his $250K bonus, which charity is Tim Tebow giving it all away to? Thats my only question – If he keeps the money he is obviously not the great Christian and God fearing human he claims to be, right? Obviously any normal person would keep the money and not think anything of it (see all other professional athletes). Do the rules not apply to Tim?

Haters gotta hate.

breaking news: tim tebow gets blow jobs

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December 4, 2011
opines, sports / deportes
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BREAKING NEWS! FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS TIM TEBOW HAS BEEN GETTING BLOW JOBS!

For the past two months Tim Tebow has been getting blow jobs from the media and people on facebook. I won’t sugarcoat it, I don’t like him. Did he have some good passes today in a win over the (2-10) Minnesota Vikings? Sure. But lets look at the important numbers…

1) Did Willis Magahee have another 100 yard game? Yup…Including for the second straight week a key big run to set up a game winning (in this case tying) field goal.

2) Did the Denver defense come through big again? You tell me, 2 Interceptions and a Fumble Recovery. The first interception was returned for a touchdown and the 2nd one set up the game winning field goal. Yeah, I’d say they came through pretty big.

3) Yes, with him as quarterback the Broncos are 6-1. Impressive indeed. But all the blow jobs he gets from the media would lead most to believe he put the team on his back and has willed them to victory each time. From the first two points – Lets look at the other victories:

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NFL on ADDERALL: WEEK ELEVEN RECAP

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November 21, 2011
sports betting
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I’m back bitches.

The middle is a good place to be, especially when you do it three out of four games. for some reason the betting site canceled my ravens bet though, assholes.

NFL Futures: Over/Under Team Wins.

  • Baltimore Ravens: OVER 10.5 wins…7-3. That was a hurdle that needed jumping over.
  • Buffalo Bills: UNDER 5.5 wins…5-5. Could they run the table?
  • Carolina Panthers: OVER 4.5 wins…2-8. Cam newton is not fire.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: OVER 5.5 wins…WON
  • Dallas Cowboys: UNDER 9 wins…6-4. This team blows.
  • Denver Broncos: UNDER 6 wins…5-5. Ugh.
  • Detroit Lions: OVER 7 wins…7-3. WON
  • Kansas City Chiefs: UNDER 7.5 wins…4-6. Good. keep up the losing.
  • Miami Dolphins: OVER 7.5 wins… 3-7. hahaha.  .
  • Minnesota Vikings: OVER 7 wins…2-7. useless.
  • New Orleans Saints: OVER 10 wins…7-3. bye
  • New York Giants: UNDER 9.5 wins…6-4. BAM. EAGLES.
  • New York Jets: UNDER 10 wins…5-5. they’re done.
  • St. Louis Rams: UNDER 7.5 wins…2-8…run the table?
  • San Francisco 49ers: UNDER 7.5 wins…LOSS
  • Seattle Seahawks: OVER 6.5 wins 4-6.good enough for 2nd in that division.
  • Tennessee Titans: UNDER 6.5 wins…5-5. who knows with this team.
  • Washington Redskins: UNDER 6 wins…3-7. losers

SCOREBOARD:

  • PicksOA: (on adderall) 37-28
  • PicksNOA: 0-8
  • PicksDRUNK: 2-2

NFL on ADDERALL: WEEK TEN RECAP

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November 15, 2011
sports betting
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I wish I wasn’t an Eagles fan,

Because I would be making so much more money betting against them. They’re my home squad, and if you bet against your home squad, you might as well kill yourself because you are without honor. In other news, I got killed this week. Nothing went right except Tebow. Fuck Tebow. Probably the worst week I’ve had in six weeks and it came when this site blew up over a Dottie. oh well. I pledge to come back with some fire picks for week 11.

NFL Futures: Over/Under Team Wins.

  • Baltimore Ravens: OVER 10.5 wins…6-3. Can anyone figure this team out?
  • Buffalo Bills: UNDER 5.5 wins…5-4. Hangin on?
  • Carolina Panthers: OVER 4.5 wins…2-7. Starting to get worse as the season progresses.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: OVER 5.5 wins…WON
  • Dallas Cowboys: UNDER 9 wins…5-4. This team blows.
  • Denver Broncos: UNDER 6 wins…4-5. Teams will figure out Tebow
  • Detroit Lions: OVER 7 wins…6-3. got crushed, but only need one more win.
  • Kansas City Chiefs: UNDER 7.5 wins…4-5. blink and this team is back to where is should be.
  • Miami Dolphins: OVER 7.5 wins… 2-7. keep it going. .
  • Minnesota Vikings: OVER 7 wins…2-7. useless.
  • New Orleans Saints: OVER 10 wins…7-3. great win. Great team.
  • New York Giants: UNDER 9.5 wins…6-3. eagles, please beat them.
  • New York Jets: UNDER 10 wins…5-4. terrible showing.
  • St. Louis Rams: UNDER 7.5 wins…2-6. only 6 more!
  • San Francisco 49ers: UNDER 7.5 wins…7-1: they’re good. i lose.
  • Seattle Seahawks: OVER 6.5 wins 3-6.good enough for 2nd in that division.
  • Tennessee Titans: UNDER 6.5 wins…5-4. who knows with this team.
  • Washington Redskins: UNDER 6 wins…3-6. losers

SCOREBOARD:

  • PicksOA: (on adderall) 29-26
  • PicksNOA: 0-8
  • PicksDRUNK: 2-2

NFL on ADDERALL: WEEK EIGHT RECAP

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November 1, 2011
sports betting
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Dear Lord,

Thank you for Tim Tebow. He’s made those who exploit religion rich without having to start a mega church. We just have to hard bet the Lions -3. Amen.

So I won a couple of the bigger bets (Cincy, Vikings), but the real icing was the big money i put on the Lions. Adderall self knows its shit. I didn’t do too great with the smaller bets but, hey, who cares when the Lord giveth Tim Tebow?

NFL Futures: Over/Under Team Wins.

  • Baltimore Ravens: OVER 10.5 wins…5-2. Great comeback, hopefully can repeat at pitt.
  • Buffalo Bills: UNDER 5.5 wins…5-2. Argggg, matey.
  • Carolina Panthers: OVER 4.5 wins…2-6. most exciting 2-6 team ever.
  • Cincinnati Bengals: OVER 5.5 wins…5-2. yup, biggest bet i made, almost locked up.
  • Dallas Cowboys: UNDER 9 wins…3-4. oops, bird flu.
  • Denver Broncos: UNDER 6 wins…2-5. ahahahahahahaha
  • Detroit Lions: OVER 7 wins…6-2. still crushin.
  • Kansas City Chiefs: UNDER 7.5 wins…4-3. i blink again and this team is 4-3?
  • Miami Dolphins: OVER 7.5 wins… 0-7. hey almost a win! for sure NOT.
  • Minnesota Vikings: OVER 7 wins…2-6. Ponder gettin’ wet, aded.
  • New Orleans Saints: OVER 10 wins…5-3. jesus, im getting a little panicked.
  • New York Giants: UNDER 9.5 wins…5-2. guh.
  • New York Jets: UNDER 10 wins…4-3. bye
  • St. Louis Rams: UNDER 7.5 wins…1-6. horray! they won! only 7 out of 9 more!
  • San Francisco 49ers: UNDER 7.5 wins…6-1: cancel this shit.
  • Seattle Seahawks: OVER 6.5 wins…2-5. yeah, i guess they’re not very good.
  • Tennessee Titans: UNDER 6.5 wins…4-3. CJ2GAY
  • Washington Redskins: UNDER 6 wins…3-4. exposed, again.

SCOREBOARD:

  • PicksOA: (on adderall) 24-18
  • PicksNOA: 0-8
  • PicksDRUNK: 2-2